Monday, January 01, 2007

New Year's Resolutions?

I only have one for 2007: I'm going to get in shape with a complete body overhaul.

Seriously, folks, I have to lose some serious weight. At 2006's end, I weigh 220 lbs. Since my goal is to live to see the day when it's George Bush's legacy to be universally acknowledged as the worst president in American history, this resolution has to receive the highest priority.

To that end, I pledge to myself (and George Bush) that I will lose thirty pounds in 2007 (net). I recognize this will involve:
  1. Spending fewer hours on the internet and more with my love
  2. Drinking fewer Coronas and more water
  3. Spending more hours on the rowing machine, stationary bike and walking Redoct
I anticipate a consequence of this effort will be a reduced frequency in posts. I therefore ask my readers for support in my attaining this goal and understanding that I'm not slacking in my passion for the restoration of American greatness.