Monday, July 09, 2007

Does Anyone Out There Share My George Bush Nightmare?

Starting on 21 January 2009, George W. Bush will finally start telling the truth.

I've mentioned this dream several times in these pages. More than once, anyways. It comes to me frequently almost once a week now, always around 2:00 a.m. It's George Bush at his absolute boorish best, sneering and gesturing the way we're so used to. The only difference is now, in this dream, he's laughing. Laughing at us all, us Americans. He's laughing because this dream always takes place on January 21st, 2009, one day after he has successfully completed his eight-year tumultuous years in the White House.

Every version of the dream varies to some degree, but last night, it went like this:
All I needed was a 2nd Pearl Harbor, and on nine-eleven, I got mine. It enabled me to initiate my life-long dream of finishing something my daddy didn't. I finally fucked Saddam just like I said I would and just like Daddy couldn't. I launched an unprovoked invasion against a country who didn't threaten America. I called it a war of good against evil and set about seeing to it that it would not end on my watch. I fixed the intelligence to fit my project. Congress, by and large, swallowed it. But the U.N. didn't, but it doesn't matter because what they call its Charter is as quaint as is certain parts of our constitution - just a scrap of paper. Hell, didn't I re-write half Congress' legislation when I signed it?

I lied about everything. I spied on Americans and said that I was using warrants. I turned my good-old fella, Turd Blossum, loose and he saw to it that all branches of the federal government became arms of the Republican Party so that we could have a lasting GOP majority. Don't ask me the details as to how Karl went about it. I just know that once we got Fredo in at Justice, there was no problem Boy-Genius couldn't solve. That good ol' boy has a future, that's for sure. (I mean Rove, not Gonzales, of course.)

I got those brave men and women in our armed services to give and give and give. Same with the National Guard, right? What's that word? I-ronic? Yeah, I really stuck it to the National Guard, didn't I? My own experience with the Guard taught me one thing: What the hell, they signed up for the duty, didn't they? Service people should have nothing to complain about. Besides, I've seen to it they get paid more than they have ever been paid before, as long as they can put their feet in their boots. And the generals? Talk about playing with people like they were dominoes - I switched them in and out like door men in revolving doors. If they couldn't talk the talk, I wouldn't let them walk the walk.

I don't give a shit what historians will say. I know I've had a good run when I had it. I was born to be prez. I have done what no others have dared. And, I've enjoyed it. It's actually fun to be the center of the world's attention. I've managed to be a greater international pariah than even Osama bin Laden! It's been fun!
Bush was grabbing at my sleeve. I was waking from my dream. But Bush persisted.
Wait, wait! I have so much more to tell you! Let me tell you about cutting taxes for the rich, which Cheney told me was our due. And let me tell you about Shooter, himself!
It was Trophy Wife, telling me to stop swearing in my sleep, get outta bed and to see what RedOct was snarling at before he woke up the neighborhood.

All dreams have real world antecedents, my Trophy Wife reminds me. In this instance, it's probably the time-line agenda I drafted immediately after Kerry's predictable failure to save America in 2004. It's displayed in the upper right hand corner of my front page. We are falling behind my repudiate-the-outlaw-presidency schedule! Like the Sopranos, the Bushopranos will walk at the end of their run. Our future restoration of America as a great nation and the legitimate leader of the world is at stake.

I have always hoped that I was not the only one afflicted by this recurring nightmare, and this afternoon I was relieved to discover the good folks at Open Left share it:

It's good to have company, but if we do not impeach, the joke will be on us. All of us.